I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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