So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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