marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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