I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
