Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pants are for mortals
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize