Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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