Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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