dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
