i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
