I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
