just come out here and I will go home with you...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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