FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
