im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
