I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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