how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
