She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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