Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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