Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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