I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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