i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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