I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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