Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
