I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
