This is not my ceiling
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All the doctor said was why
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
