He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
