I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize