oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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