No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
