What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
