I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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