Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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