Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
