All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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