her vagine was all disorganized.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
