so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
