Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
