Sry I called you an 8
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
false alarm. still invincible.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
