Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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