Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
