My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
