Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
