he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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