No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
