i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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