The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
