can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
