so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
