Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
