I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
