There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I understand Curling. That high.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
