halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
