another moral hangover. fuck.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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