My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
