my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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