It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize