DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize