i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Never underestimate the power of titties
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
