It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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