She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
