So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
